Looking Forward

The first few weeks of my 51st year are feeling good. I have a plan…well, it’s more of a guideline, in draft format, I like flexibility. My winter challenge is going well, not perfect, but I’m happy with where I am with it. I’ve been reflecting on my past year and looking ahead to the New Year and while I’m not one for resolutions I am one for paying attention and ensuring I am living well and living wholly.

This is the year that I am in control of who I am, what I do and what I want. I miss my Herbivore but I am loving having my independence back. Being independent again has reminded me that I need to be empowering not only myself by my daughter, Mr. Fantastic and the people around me. We all need the power to live our best lives for ourselves so that we can be kind, considerate, happy contributing members of this world. You have to take care of, and value yourself and your time to better care for others and this beautiful world. I have realized that I cannot, nor do I want to, be everything to everyone.

I survived, I recovered, I searched and Now I THRIVE

I survived my stroke and emergency brain surgery. That experience has given me perspective; on my life, the world and how I interact with it. I am incredibly grateful for the experience and what I was able to learn from it.

My year of recovery, meant throwing myself out into the world, to be me again. Along the way I realized that how I defined “me” had changed. I wanted to be different and better but I had no idea how to re-build. Let the searching begin!

I searched for the new, the different, and the unexperienced. What could I do that would fulfill me and give me purpose? I survived for a reason, what is it? These questions led me down many paths; including familiar ones. This quest often left me with more questions than answers. I have found some of the answers I was looking for; but I am still susceptible to getting distracted overthinking my purpose and agonizing over what I should be doing or not doing.

And Now,

After two years, a couple of months, many miles, much introspection, waffling and surrounding myself with inspiration I’m jumping in with both feet. Why not? I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It’s time to let go of all the things I thought I was “supposed” to do, what I was “supposed” to be and now it’s time to just “be”. Sometimes, I think that sounds a little like my “jellyfish” period where I allowed myself to drift from one thing to another with no destination or reason. But, this “be” is different. This is the mindful, purposeful “be”. This is the year I am going to allow myself to embrace the creative, the active, the joy, the thoughtful and do things my way. I recognize that there are areas of my life that are not up for negotiation but that there is ample room for exploration and growth. This is how I will thrive in 2019 and beyond!

“You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream” – C.S. Lewis

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